Alien Abduction Insurance

 

For F.L. and N.K.

Ashamed to say how often I’ve failed
Exotic foods, fashion, sneaker repair
Each time I corner a market
The whole floor falls in

But now I feel my luck changing
Never know where that saucer’s hovering
You can get kidnapped from Asia to Atlantis
And never see a ransom demand

But if my insurance can’t save victims
I must and will help their families
Lifetime earnings, life insurance
Buy now while you’re still available

If you disappear we pay every year
But no faking or it all comes back
Break the law and your contract’s hacked

How can we tell an abduction’s real?
Our council of verified experts
Once you go, we will know
Our next market will be your pets
Imagine what those monsters might do?

For once I think I’ve found the edge
I’ll pay for abductions since it happened to me
They ditched my guts on this failing planet
We must save others from my fate
Find all those who steal our lives

And I need to find out how to leave