I Live to Report

I used to be a professional

Got loads of stuff done

Then I met my new boss

He was a professional administrator-facilitator

Never worked in a place like ours

So I got new tasks:

Write up what you do

All you do

He didn't understand this place

Perhaps my reports would help

Soon his requests rose

Where pens were used, paperclips unclipped

Minutes in bathrooms and before the monitor

How many people walked through in a day

These briefs stopped my work

But the boss laid down the law:

Without a report facts never happened

He couldn't know what he didn't know so

Demanded expansive descriptions

I also wrote the reviews;

He didn't like writing that much

I used to live to work

Now I live to report

I thought I'd die

Before I'd retire

Then I grasped the future:

Your write accounts

Check statements

Quality instantly assessed

Goals and mission assured

The boss said it's better to describe work

Than do it

What I did before - teaching, inspiring

Hard to quantify nebulous naff

Now I generate real records

New management arrived and snickered

Said our section "got nothing done"

We did Nothing? Our reports will test time

Rival the pyramids, astound astro-archeologists

Some day our reports will define this civilization!

Retirement is not as expected

I can do my old job if

I do it for free

My old boss is writing our company history

I plan to finish mine first